I have been here before, perhaps one too many
I have stood right at the edge of this cliff
Wishing that the waves would wash away the pain
That the noises in my head would dissipate
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I look out towards the throbbing multitudes
I listen to the blaring sounds of people and things
I feel so small looking down from this height
Like if I wasn’t here, it wouldn’t even matter
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I still can’t believe I made it this far
That I am still here; still breathing; still moving
But God knows I cannot do this anymore
This is the end of the road for me
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Yet immediately I let go of the rail
I wished I could take it all back
Mid-air with no one to hold me
I sought for an anchor but could find none
Suspended mid-air…
The weight on my chest lifted
I found all the reason I needed to live
Yet once the executioner flung his axe
There was no turning back now
I’ll never get to see who the kids would have become
I’ll never get to hear the laughter of the half of my heart
The dreams I carried inside me will go into the abyss with me
It is all deafening silence as I descend into the void
Perhaps there were brighter days ahead
And more time to bloom and flourish
All this I would have known
…
If only I had never jumped
